February 28, 2009

Win a Trophy Tonight

Now who doesn’t want to be the guy walking out with the hottest chick in the club. I tell you now, I am not some sort of relationship expert, but I have compiled advice and tips from men & women who have accomplished the goal of going home with the top prize at the club or bar. Remember, I’m simply relaying the info along with some of the knowledge I know.
  1. Always look presentable. To women, there is nothing more of an attraction killer than seeing a homeless looking idiot. 100% of first attraction is appearance. You never hear guys say, “Man take a look at all that personality spilling out of that girls bra.”If you are trying to go home with the best looking; shouldn't she?
  2. Be THE MAN, but be the man quietly. You want to stand out, but you do not be the loud douche bag yelling and making a scene (ie College Frat Boys).
  3. Once spotting your target, show interest. Stare casually, just enough so her friends notice. However do not get caught and be labeled as creepy. Approach with caution, but if you’re good enough, maybe she’ll come to you.
  4. A mans game can vary. Find a way to get one on one time. If she smokes, go smoke with her if you smoke too, if not just fake it. A drink usually always works, especially 5 drinks in.
  5. Whatever you do make conversation. DON’T TALK THE WHOLE TIME, but keep the ball rolling. Try to find something that you have in common, but DO NOT MAKE IT OVERLY SIMILAR. if she say “I have a cat named Bob” don’t lie and say the same thing.
  6. Women are attracted to humor. Be witty and clever, but not a stand up comedian. Find an inside joke the two of you can share and will make you standout.
  7. Another thing, if you possibly can, dance! If you can't dance, try anyways. If you don’t, she’s more likely to find someone else that can.
  8. A number is always a score. This is the least you should get at the end of the night. Also in the 21st century, "Can I Facebook you?" is the new "Can I get your number?"
Bottom line guys: don’t be a dick, dress nice, buy drinks, dance and keep your cool.


February 26, 2009

The Art of the Crossover

The crossover is when the player quickly changes direction while switching the ball to the opposite hand which can cause the defender to lose balance and fall in trying to react too quickly. Here are players with the best crossovers of all-time in no particular order.

Tim Hardaway
The Godfather of the crossover, hands down. He took the crossover to a new level that no one had seen before his time. Players today are still trying to copy his "UTEP Two-step" crossover.

Kobe Bryant
He might have one of the smoothest crossovers of all-time. Always known for his clutch and vertical ability. Hard to say that Kobe has been underrated, but his crossover is one of the best and never talked about.(requires flash)

Allen Iverson
AI is one of the quickest players ever. His crossover is legendary. Oh yeah, he crossed over Jordan. Enough said.

Steve Francis
May have perfected the crossover. He did it with speed and grace. Definitely top 2 crossovers ever when he was in his prime.

NBA "Steve Francis" mix - MyVideo

Jamal Crawford
Best crossover in the game today (no disrespect to D-Wade). His shake and bake is one of the best moves ever and it works everytime.

Honorable mentions: Dwyane Wade, Jason Williams, Chris Paul and Rafer Alston

Who has the best crossover of all-time?

February 24, 2009

Gentlemen's Club Virgins

This past weekend I was able to attend two shows from adult film star Kaylani Lei. She has done over 150 films and even has won an AVN Come-Back-Actress-Of-The-Year award. Last Friday was her triumphant return to the Crazy Horse in San Francisco.

In Kaylani’s first set, she was dressed in a red and black Asian-theme. She danced up and down the stage collecting massive amounts of dollar bills. By the 3rd song, she was fully nude and brought up a willing volunteer, who was laid down on the stage, pants unzipped and a glass phallic object inserted in his zipper hole to simulate an erection. Kaylani proceeded to “blow” the volunteer. Along with lubricant that appeared like semen, she emulated oral sex. The “dance” climaxed when she removed the dildo and began to pleasure herself with it.

All in all, I wasn’t disappointed. She came, she danced, she came! For those who have not seen Kaylani, she does not have the body of a porn star, yet she still holds that aura of "rockstar" around her.

For those of you who are Gentlemen's Club Virgins here are a few tips to know:

  • Like any club, expect the busy times on the weekends, Friday and Saturday. They will be inundated with college frat boys, bachelor parties, and the occasional creepy old man. There are covers at the clubs usually around $20. Many places offer discounts if you bring a lady friend

  • Sitting at the stage, TIPPING IS MANDATORY. Do not sit in the front row of the stage expecting to get a free show, these are their jobs gentlemen. Show some appreciation

  • Just like Chris Rock said, “There is NO sex in the champagne room”. On the west coast they are called private rooms, I've only heard them use the term champagne room in Vegas. Feel free to tell all your homies you got head/handjob/sex. Just don’t make it too extravagant

  • First time, second time, millionth time, you must get a lap dance. You do not want to be the one loser on the car ride home with no story to tell

  • DO NOT get overly excited, that just spells out “rookie” to the strippers and they will just see you as an ATM

  • KNOW your limits. Only go in with money you intend to spend and never bring your plastic cards. Know when to say no. Strippers are like potato chips, you just can't have one.

  • During private lap dances, there will be no crotch-ualar touching. You can feel free to grab titties and ass. Only touch if she guides you to the promise land herself.

  • Forewarning, stripper smell and glitter will ALWAYS rub off on you, so wash your hands, face, or even bring another set of clothes if you are there on the downlow.

  • Always call out the one guy/girl whose birthday it is. You always get something special.

  • Show you are interested and having fun, the girls will show that love back. Don’t be the creepy guy in the corner by themselves.

General rule is to have fun! Don’t be the stick in the mud to ruin everyone's good time. 65% of guys do not go to the strip club with intentions of getting laid, we all would like to think about it, but these girls know better. So, have fun, spend a little money, grab some tits and call it a night.